“There is, hidden or flaunted, a sword between the sexes till an entire marriage reconciles them.”
Image credits：Aronsyne,”Lewis, age 48″,CC BY-SA 4.0,C.S.-Lewis – C. S. Lewis – Simple English Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
- November 29, 1898 – November 22, 1963
- Born in Ireland
- Writer, scholar
- Had a major influence on fantasy literature and religious thought through his many works, including the Chronicles of Narnia series and The Poetics of Christianity
Quote
“There is, hidden or flaunted, a sword between the sexes till an entire marriage reconciles them.”
Explanation
In this quote, C. S. Lewis reflects on the inherent tension between the sexes, particularly in the context of marriage. He suggests that a division or conflict exists between men and women, whether it is hidden beneath the surface or openly displayed. This “sword” symbolizes the differences and misunderstandings that can arise between the genders. However, Lewis argues that this conflict is not necessarily negative, but rather something that needs to be reconciled in the context of a whole marriage. Over time, through mutual commitment and growth, a marriage can bring about a harmonious resolution of these differences, leading to a deeper understanding and unity between the partners. For Lewis, marriage is a place where the differences between men and women are not only acknowledged, but also transformed into something that strengthens the bond between them.
Historically, Lewis wrote this during a time when traditional gender roles were more rigidly defined, but he also understood that these roles often led to miscommunication and misunderstanding. His view of marriage, rooted in Christian theology, emphasized the idea that marriage is a sacramental union designed to bring people together—body, mind, and spirit—and that these differences between men and women are part of what makes the relationship rich and transformative. For Lewis, marriage is not just about emotional satisfaction, but about spiritual growth, where the partners learn to reconcile their differences and become more whole together.
In the modern context, this quote speaks to the ongoing dynamics of gender relations. While many aspects of marriage and relationships have evolved over time, the fundamental differences between men and women, particularly in terms of communication styles, emotional needs, and perspectives, remain present. Lewis’s insight invites couples to see these differences not as obstacles to be avoided but as an integral part of the growth and reconciliation that can take place in a healthy marriage. This process of reconciliation can lead to a deeper understanding and unity, where the “sword” between the sexes becomes an opportunity for mutual respect, shared purpose, and spiritual maturity.
