“If there is anything that we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves.”
- July 26, 1875 – June 6, 1961
- Born in Switzerland
- Psychiatrist and psychologist
- Founded analytical psychology and proposed the concepts of archetypes and the collective unconscious
Quote
“If there is anything that we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves.”
Explanation
Carl Jung’s quote touches on the deep connection between parental influence and the development of children. He suggests that before attempting to change a child’s behavior or traits, parents should first reflect on their own actions and attitudes. This is rooted in Jung’s psychological perspective that projection, the act of projecting one’s own unconscious traits or emotions onto others, plays a significant role in interpersonal dynamics. Parents may unconsciously pass on their own unresolved issues to their children, so examining oneself is a necessary step to break this cycle. In this context, a parent’s desire to change something in a child may often be an indirect reflection of their own unmet emotional needs or unacknowledged flaws.
This insight has deep relevance in modern parenting practices and therapy. Parents may not always recognize how their own unresolved issues affect their children. For example, a parent who struggles with anger may become frustrated with a child’s similar outbursts, not realizing that their own emotional regulation issues are being projected. In therapy, a key step is often for parents to explore their own experiences and emotional responses, making this quote particularly insightful in the context of family dynamics.
In a broader historical and societal context, this quote encourages self-awareness and personal responsibility, urging adults to take a proactive role in their own development in order to improve the environment they create for younger generations. Jung’s ideas align with modern views on generational trauma and the importance of emotional intelligence in raising children. Parents who work to understand and improve their own emotional health may, in turn, offer their children a healthier, more nurturing environment in which to grow.
