“Consult your friend on all things, especially on those which respect yourself. His counsel may then be useful where your own self-love might impair your judgment.”
- c. 4 BC – AD 65
- Roman
- Philosopher, Statesman, Dramatist, Stoic Thinker, Advisor to Emperor Nero
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Quote
“Consult your friend on all things, especially on those which respect yourself. His counsel may then be useful where your own self-love might impair your judgment.”
Explanation
Seneca advises that we seek the honest guidance of a trusted friend, particularly in matters concerning ourselves, because self-love can cloud our judgment. The Stoic view holds that reason should guide all decisions, but Seneca recognizes that personal bias often blinds us, making it difficult to see our own faults, errors, or illusions. A true friend, motivated by goodwill rather than flattery, provides the clarity and objectivity we lack.
In Roman thought, especially in Stoicism, friendship is a moral relationship based on virtue and mutual betterment—not mere companionship. Consulting a friend, therefore, is not a sign of weakness but of moral discipline and humility. A wise friend serves as a kind of mirror, reflecting back the truth we might avoid. This allows us to act not just with confidence, but with greater self-awareness and ethical grounding.
In modern life, Seneca’s wisdom remains vital. Whether facing personal dilemmas, career choices, or emotional struggles, we often rationalize our desires or fears. Seeking the perspective of someone we trust—a person committed to our growth—can correct our biases and restore balance. Seneca reminds us that sound judgment is not always solitary, and that friendship, when rooted in virtue, is one of life’s greatest aids to wisdom.
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