“When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory.”
- October 15, 1844 – August 25, 1900
- Born in Germany
- Philosopher, poet, and classical philologist
- With works such as “Thus Spoke Zarathustra,” “Beyond Good and Evil,” and “The Genealogy of Morals,” he questioned traditional morality, religion, and truth, and had a major impact on modern philosophy.
Quote
“When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory.”
Explanation
In this quote, Friedrich Nietzsche emphasizes the importance of intellectual and emotional compatibility in a marriage. He suggests that the foundation for a lasting relationship should not be based on transient factors like physical attraction, social status, or wealth, which can change over time. Instead, the ability to engage in meaningful conversation and maintain a strong intellectual and emotional connection should be the core consideration when choosing a life partner. According to Nietzsche, the companionship and shared understanding that comes from long, stimulating conversations are the enduring elements of a relationship, and everything else will eventually fade or evolve. The quote points to the idea that mutual respect and shared curiosity or intellectual engagement are crucial for a long-term, fulfilling partnership.
Historically, Nietzsche was skeptical of romantic ideals and traditional marriage norms, often critiquing the ways in which love and marriage were framed in society. He believed that many people entered marriage with unrealistic expectations, driven by cultural pressures or temporary desires. In this quote, Nietzsche urges individuals to think beyond the fleeting aspects of marriage and focus on the deeper, more enduring qualities that will sustain the relationship through the years, particularly communication and mutual understanding.
In modern life, this insight remains relevant, especially in an era where relationships often face external pressures such as work, family expectations, and social media. This quote serves as a reminder that a successful marriage is not about perfection or external achievements, but about the ability to maintain an ongoing, genuine dialogue with your partner. Whether through shared interests, mutual respect, or the ability to learn and grow together, the quality of conversation is a strong indicator of a marriage’s ability to weather the passage of time.
