“The one charm about marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties.”
- October 16, 1854 – November 30, 1900
- Irish
- Author, poet, playwright
- Written novels, plays, and poems such as “The Picture of Dorian Gray,” “The Importance of Being Earnest,” and “Salome,” he had a great influence on British literature in the late 19th century through his witty social criticism and humor.
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Quote
“The one charm about marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties.”
Explanation
In this quote, Oscar Wilde offers a cynical and humorous commentary on the institution of marriage. He suggests that, rather than being a foundation of honesty and trust, marriage often requires a certain degree of deception from both partners. According to Wilde, the “charm” of marriage lies in its ability to force both individuals into maintaining illusions or misunderstandings, which might help sustain the relationship. This could refer to the idea that couples often avoid confronting uncomfortable truths about each other, instead choosing to live in a kind of mutual self-deception to preserve peace and happiness.
Wilde’s perspective reflects his satirical view of societal institutions, especially marriage, which he saw as constraining and often hypocritical. In his time, marriage was largely a social contract that emphasized public appearance and conformity rather than personal fulfillment. Wilde, a critic of Victorian social norms, often exposed the contradictions between public virtue and private behavior. By emphasizing deception, he suggests that true transparency in marriage might be too difficult to achieve, and that relationships may be built more on convenience or social expectation than on true understanding and honesty.
In modern contexts, Wilde’s quote still resonates in discussions about the complexities of romantic relationships and marriage. While marriage is often celebrated as a union based on mutual trust, many still acknowledge that relationships can require compromises and unspoken agreements to keep them functioning. Wilde’s words serve as a reminder to critically examine the idealized notions of marriage and recognize that, in reality, relationships can be complex, with both honesty and deception playing roles in their dynamics.
