“Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory.”
- February 12, 1809 – April 15, 1865
- American
- Politician, lawyer
- As the 16th President of the United States, he issued the Emancipation Proclamation and led the Civil War to maintain the unity of the nation.
Quote
“Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory.”
Explanation
This quote reflects a humorous yet cynical view of marriage, suggesting that it is neither an idealized paradise (heaven) nor a tormenting nightmare (hell), but rather a middle ground that requires endurance and perseverance, much like purgatory in religious tradition. The idea of marriage as purgatory can be seen as an expression of the trials and challenges that couples face as they navigate the complexities of life together. Marriage, in this sense, isn’t about achieving perfection or bliss, but about working through difficulties, growing together, and enduring the ups and downs that come with the commitment.
Historically, this quote may be seen as a reflection of the social expectations and pressures of marriage in Lincoln’s time, where traditional values placed a strong emphasis on marital duty and commitment, regardless of personal happiness. In this light, Lincoln may have been acknowledging the sacrifices and compromises that often come with a lifelong partnership. His use of purgatory here implies that marriage is not a state of eternal joy, but a process of growth, trial, and eventual purification through effort and dedication.
In modern times, the quote resonates with the notion that marriage requires ongoing effort and compromise, and that challenges within relationships are part of the journey toward mutual understanding. The idea of “purgatory” in this context could be applied to the work required in maintaining a relationship through difficult times, as many couples face personal and relational obstacles. It suggests that love and commitment are not just about romantic idealism, but about resilience, mutual respect, and finding meaning through shared experiences.
