“It is one of the most effective attitudes of the neurotic to measure thumbs down, so to speak, a real person by an ideal, since in doing so he can depreciate him as much as he wishes.”
- February 7, 1870 – May 28, 1937
- Austrian
- Psychotherapist, Medical Doctor, Founder of Individual Psychology
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Quote
“It is one of the most effective attitudes of the neurotic to measure thumbs down, so to speak, a real person by an ideal, since in doing so he can depreciate him as much as he wishes.”
Explanation
This quote exposes a defensive strategy often used by neurotic individuals, as described by Alfred Adler: comparing real people to unrealistic ideals in order to undermine or devalue them. By holding others to a standard of perfection that no one can meet, the neurotic gains a sense of superiority or justification for rejection, criticism, or detachment. It is a means of control and self-protection, allowing the person to avoid vulnerability or authentic engagement.
Adler identified this behavior as part of a broader pattern of safeguarding strategies, common in those struggling with deep-seated inferiority feelings. Rather than facing personal challenges or fostering genuine relationships, the neurotic may protect their fragile self-esteem by dismissing others as inadequate. This tactic allows them to maintain an illusion of self-worth without having to confront their own limitations or work toward genuine social interest.
In today’s world, this tendency can be seen in perfectionistic standards, online criticism, or idealized portrayals of success that distort expectations in relationships and society. People may use these impossible ideals to distance themselves emotionally, avoid commitment, or justify cynicism. Adler’s insight encourages us to replace judgment with empathy, and to recognize that all people, including ourselves, are works in progress, not to be measured by impossible benchmarks but understood in human terms.
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