“We never love a person, but only qualities.”
- June 19, 1623 – August 19, 1662
- French
- Mathematician, Physicist, Inventor, Philosopher, Theologian
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Quote
“We never love a person, but only qualities.”
Explanation
Pascal offers a sobering and psychologically sharp observation: what we call love for a person is often love for the traits or qualities we associate with them. We are drawn to beauty, kindness, intelligence, humor, or virtue—not the person in some abstract or absolute sense, but the specific attributes they embody. Love, then, is not as unconditional as we like to think; it is often a response to what pleases or fulfills us in another.
In Pensées, Pascal explores the limits of human love and the illusions that often accompany it. He believed that much of what we call affection is shaped by desire, projection, and partial understanding. We think we love the whole person, but in truth, our love is selective, attached to the qualities we admire or desire. And when those qualities fade or change, our feelings may change as well, revealing the conditional nature of human love.
In contemporary relationships, this insight remains profoundly relevant. Romantic idealization, celebrity worship, or even friendships often hinge on selective admiration, and disappointment arises when the real person fails to match the image. Pascal’s quote calls for greater honesty about what we love and why, and perhaps invites us to move toward a deeper, more compassionate form of love—one that sees beyond qualities to the shared human condition. True love, if it exists, begins where admiration ends.
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