“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”
- October 15, 1844 – August 25, 1900
- Born in Germany
- Philosopher, poet, and classical philologist
- With works such as “Thus Spoke Zarathustra,” “Beyond Good and Evil,” and “The Genealogy of Morals,” he questioned traditional morality, religion, and truth, and had a major impact on modern philosophy.
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Quote
“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”
Explanation
In this quote, Friedrich Nietzsche suggests that the root cause of unhappy marriages is not necessarily a lack of love but a lack of friendship between partners. Nietzsche emphasizes that true partnership in marriage is built not just on romantic love, but on the foundation of friendship, which involves mutual respect, understanding, shared values, and emotional intimacy. When the relationship lacks these qualities—when there is no genuine companionship, support, or connection—even love can become fragile and unfulfilling. Nietzsche’s insight speaks to the importance of emotional partnership and how friendship is the deeper, more sustainable bond that can help a marriage weather difficulties, as it fosters trust and collaboration.
Historically, Nietzsche often critiqued the traditional views of marriage and love in his time, particularly those shaped by social norms and religion, which often idealized romantic love while neglecting the importance of individual fulfillment and true companionship. He believed that love, when based on unrealistic ideals or external expectations, could become a source of illusion or discontent. Instead, he argued that relationships should be grounded in authentic connection, where both individuals support each other as friends, partners, and equals, beyond the fleeting intensity of romantic love.
In modern contexts, this quote can be applied to how marriages and long-term relationships are often portrayed today. While romantic love is still highly valued, Nietzsche’s words encourage us to reconsider the role of friendship in maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship. This perspective suggests that, beyond romantic gestures, the ability to connect deeply, communicate openly, and support each other through life’s challenges is what truly sustains a lasting partnership. Whether in personal relationships or societal expectations, this quote encourages us to value friendship as the essential foundation for any healthy and enduring marriage.
