“Love matches, so called, have illusion for their father and need for their mother.”
- October 15, 1844 – August 25, 1900
- Born in Germany
- Philosopher, poet, and classical philologist
- With works such as “Thus Spoke Zarathustra,” “Beyond Good and Evil,” and “The Genealogy of Morals,” he questioned traditional morality, religion, and truth, and had a major impact on modern philosophy.
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Quote
“Love matches, so called, have illusion for their father and need for their mother.”
Explanation
In this quote, Friedrich Nietzsche offers a critical perspective on romantic love, particularly the idea of “love matches”—relationships that are commonly thought to be based on mutual love and desire. Nietzsche argues that these types of relationships are often built on illusion (represented as the “father”) and need (represented as the “mother”). The “illusion” refers to the idealization or fantasy that often accompanies romantic love, where individuals project unrealistic expectations and desires onto their partners. These illusions create a sense of romantic idealism, where people believe their love is pure, perfect, and based on deep, unquestioned connection. On the other hand, need represents the emotional or psychological dependency that often drives people to form relationships in the first place—whether for security, comfort, or social validation. Nietzsche implies that rather than being founded on true self-sufficiency or authentic love, such relationships are often built on fantasy and neediness, which can make them unstable or unsustainable in the long term.
Historically, Nietzsche was critical of the romantic ideal of love, which he believed often overshadowed the real complexities of human relationships. He saw romantic love as something that could be manipulative or self-deceptive, often leading individuals to idealize their partners or fall into relationships based on desire or lack rather than mutual empowerment and growth. Nietzsche believed that true love should be based on individual strength and authenticity, not driven by illusions or a desire to fulfill unconscious needs.
In modern contexts, this quote invites us to rethink the foundations of romantic relationships and challenge the assumptions that love matches are inherently ideal or lasting. It encourages individuals to examine whether their relationships are driven by real love and mutual empowerment, or if they are based on projections of fantasy and emotional need. Nietzsche’s perspective serves as a reminder that love should not be based on fulfilling illusions or emotional dependency, but rather on a more authentic connection where both partners are self-sufficient and able to grow together, free from unrealistic expectations or imbalanced needs.
