“We do not judge the people we love.”
- June 21, 1905 – April 15, 1980
- Born in France
- Philosopher, novelist, playwright
- He advocated existentialism and had a major influence on 20th century thought through works such as “Being and Nothingness” and “Nausea”
table of contents
Quote
“We do not judge the people we love.”
Explanation
In this quote, Sartre highlights a key aspect of authentic love: that true love does not involve judgment or the imposition of criteria upon the person being loved. To love someone, in Sartre’s view, means to accept them fully for who they are, without trying to fit them into preconceived ideas or expectations. When we love someone, we are not evaluating their worth based on external standards but are engaging with them as they are in the present moment, recognizing their freedom and individuality. Sartre’s existentialism stresses the importance of freedom and self-definition, and this also applies to relationships: when we truly love, we accept others’ freedom to define themselves, without trying to impose our own judgments or values upon them.
Sartre’s perspective here also contrasts with the tendency to objectify others or love in a way that is conditional, based on what the other person can do for us or how well they meet our needs. True love, for Sartre, is not about possession or control, but about embracing the other person’s authenticity and their right to exist as they choose. By not judging the person we love, we allow them the freedom to express themselves without fear of criticism or condemnation, which strengthens the connection between two people.
In modern contexts, this quote speaks to the dynamics of relationships today, especially in a world where standards of perfection and expectations often shape how we view one another. Sartre’s words challenge us to love others unconditionally, without trying to change them or hold them to idealized standards. This requires an acceptance of the other’s flaws and imperfections, as part of their freedom to be themselves. It calls for a shift from judgmental love to a more authentic and free form of love, where we respect and accept others for who they truly are, without trying to mold them into something else.
