“The people who are absent are the ideal; those who are present seem to be quite commonplace.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
quotes
  • August 28, 1749 – March 22, 1832
  • German
  • Poet, playwright, novelist, philosopher, politician
  • His literary works “Faust” and “The Sorrows of Young Werther” had a major impact on world literature.

Quote

“The people who are absent are the ideal; those who are present seem to be quite commonplace.”

Explanation

Goethe reflects on the idea that we often idealize those who are not present—whether in terms of memory, imagination, or longing—and see them as perfect or unreachable. In contrast, those who are physically present in our lives can appear more ordinary or flawed. The absence of a person allows us to project our own ideals onto them, imagining them as perfect in ways that reality does not always allow. When someone is near, we are more aware of their imperfections, human limitations, and the mundane aspects of their character, which can make them seem less extraordinary.

Historically, this idea speaks to the tension between idealization and reality. Goethe’s time, like the Romantic era, was deeply concerned with the ideal—the perfect form of love, beauty, or human nature—which often existed in the mind or in art, rather than in everyday life. This contrast between the ideal and the real is a theme in many of Goethe’s works, where characters often grapple with the tension between their desires or expectations and the imperfections of the people around them.

In modern contexts, this idea can apply to how we view relationships, whether romantic, friendships, or even public figures. Social media, for instance, often allows us to create an idealized version of people who are not physically present, showcasing only their best moments. Meanwhile, the people who are present in our everyday lives are often seen through a more critical, realistic lens, making them seem less impressive or ordinary. This can lead to feelings of disappointment or dissatisfaction in real relationships when compared to the idealized version we create in our minds.

Goethe’s words remind us that the ideal is often more alluring because it is untarnished by the everyday realities and imperfections of life. However, it is in our real relationships, with all their flaws and complexities, that true depth and meaning can be found.


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