“Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.”
- October 16, 1854 – November 30, 1900
- Irish
- Author, poet, playwright
- Written novels, plays, and poems such as “The Picture of Dorian Gray,” “The Importance of Being Earnest,” and “Salome,” he had a great influence on British literature in the late 19th century through his witty social criticism and humor.
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Quote
“Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.”
Explanation
In this provocative quote, Oscar Wilde asserts that the dynamic between men and women is inherently too complex for genuine friendship to exist, suggesting that the relationships between the two sexes are often dominated by passion, emotion, or conflict rather than a platonic, mutual respect that defines true friendship. Wilde points to the strong emotional currents that typically characterize interactions between men and women, from romantic love to rivalry or adoration, but he dismisses the possibility of a neutral, uncomplicated friendship free from these dynamics.
Wilde’s view reflects his often cynical and complex approach to human relationships, particularly the differences between the way men and women experience and express emotions. At the time he was writing, social norms regarding gender were highly rigid, and relationships between men and women were often confined by traditional roles that allowed for little emotional or intellectual freedom. Wilde’s quote speaks to the tension between the potential for romantic and sexual attraction versus the more dispassionate nature of friendship.
In modern times, this quote can spark reflection on evolving views of gender equality and platonic relationships. While Wilde’s statement might have reflected the social mores of his era, today, many people believe that friendship between men and women is not only possible but also essential to fostering genuine understanding and respect across genders. Wilde’s words, however, still challenge us to consider the complexity of human relationships, particularly the extent to which romantic and sexual dynamics can influence platonic bonds.
