“Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.”
- October 16, 1854 – November 30, 1900
- Irish
- Author, poet, playwright
- Written novels, plays, and poems such as “The Picture of Dorian Gray,” “The Importance of Being Earnest,” and “Salome,” he had a great influence on British literature in the late 19th century through his witty social criticism and humor.
Quote
“Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.”
Explanation
In this quote, Oscar Wilde reflects on the evolving nature of the parent-child relationship over time. He suggests that children start with unconditional love and admiration for their parents, seeing them as idealized figures of authority, guidance, and care. However, as children grow older and develop their own sense of identity and judgment, they begin to scrutinize and critique their parents, often seeing them as imperfect or flawed. This shift in perception leads to the idea that, as children mature, they move from adoring their parents to questioning or even disapproving of them. Wilde’s statement also implies that this process of judgment can be difficult to overcome, and that true forgiveness—which would require a return to unconditional acceptance—is rare, if it happens at all.
Wilde’s comment speaks to the complexity of family dynamics and the challenges of growing up. The idea that children judge their parents suggests that as they gain more experience and knowledge, they begin to see the flaws and imperfections in those they once viewed as infallible. This process of disillusionment can lead to a sense of estrangement, making it difficult for children to fully reconcile with their parents as they once did.
In modern contexts, this quote resonates with the universal experience of coming of age and the inevitable disillusionment that often accompanies it. It reminds us of the emotional distance that can arise between parents and children as a result of differing values, experiences, and perspectives. Wilde’s words also speak to the difficulty of forgiveness within families, suggesting that true reconciliation requires both understanding and compassion, qualities that are not always easy to achieve once the initial innocent love has been replaced by judgment.
