“Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.”
- October 16, 1854 – November 30, 1900
- Irish
- Author, poet, playwright
- Written novels, plays, and poems such as “The Picture of Dorian Gray,” “The Importance of Being Earnest,” and “Salome,” he had a great influence on British literature in the late 19th century through his witty social criticism and humor.
Quote
“Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.”
Explanation
In this quote, Oscar Wilde uses humor and irony to comment on the motivations behind marriage and the inevitable disillusionment that follows. He suggests that men marry out of a sense of fatigue—perhaps from the pressures of life or the desire for stability and comfort—while women marry out of curiosity, perhaps intrigued by the idea of love, partnership, or the societal expectation of marriage. However, Wilde’s punchline reveals the disappointment that both parties experience, implying that marriage often falls short of the idealized expectations that individuals bring into it, regardless of their reasons for entering it.
Wilde’s comment reflects his broader cynicism toward social institutions like marriage, which he often viewed as more of a convention or obligation than a source of genuine happiness or fulfillment. By framing both genders as being motivated by unfulfilling reasons—men seeking relief from exhaustion and women driven by curiosity—Wilde emphasizes the disillusionment that comes when these motivations are not met with the idealized romance or harmony that society often promises.
In modern contexts, this quote could be seen as a commentary on the pressure of societal norms surrounding marriage and relationships, particularly the unrealistic expectations people often have about what marriage will provide. Wilde’s words encourage a more realistic view of marriage, one that recognizes the complexities and challenges of relationships rather than simply romanticizing them. His humor also points to the importance of honesty and self-awareness in approaching marriage, recognizing that it is not a cure-all for life’s struggles or a guaranteed path to happiness.