“Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.”
- October 16, 1854 – November 30, 1900
- Irish
- Author, poet, playwright
- Written novels, plays, and poems such as “The Picture of Dorian Gray,” “The Importance of Being Earnest,” and “Salome,” he had a great influence on British literature in the late 19th century through his witty social criticism and humor.
Quote
“Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.”
Explanation
In this quote, Oscar Wilde redefines the concept of selfishness. He argues that being selfish is not simply about pursuing one’s own desires or living according to one’s own will, but rather about imposing those desires and expectations on others. Selfishness, in Wilde’s view, is the attempt to control or force others to live in a way that aligns with one’s personal wishes, disregarding their autonomy and individual desires. This perspective challenges the typical notion of selfishness as merely self-interest, instead emphasizing the interference with others’ freedom as the true mark of selfishness.
Wilde’s statement reflects his belief in the importance of individual liberty and personal freedom. He suggests that it is not wrong to live your life according to your own values and desires, but it becomes problematic when you attempt to impose those values on others, thereby limiting their own freedom and individuality.
In modern contexts, this quote speaks to the dynamics of control and autonomy in relationships and society. It serves as a reminder that true selfishness is not simply about pursuing one’s own goals, but about attempting to dictate the lives of others, whether in personal relationships, societal norms, or political structures. Wilde’s words encourage us to respect the freedom of others to live as they choose, without the need to manipulate or coerce them into our own vision of life.
