“Marriage brings one into fatal connection with custom and tradition, and traditions and customs are like the wind and weather, altogether incalculable.”
- May 5, 1813 – November 11, 1855
- Danish
- Philosopher, Theologian, Poet, Father of Existentialism
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Quote
“Marriage brings one into fatal connection with custom and tradition, and traditions and customs are like the wind and weather, altogether incalculable.”
Explanation
In this quote, Kierkegaard critiques marriage as a social institution, warning that it often entangles the individual in external expectations, customs, and roles. By calling the connection “fatal,” he suggests that marriage—far from being a purely personal or romantic choice—can subject the individual to pressures that threaten personal authenticity. Customs and traditions are likened to wind and weather—unpredictable forces that cannot be fully understood or controlled, making the outcome of such a commitment deeply uncertain.
This perspective aligns with Kierkegaard’s broader existential concern for the individual’s struggle to remain true to oneself in the face of social conformity. In 19th-century Denmark, marriage was tightly bound to religious, economic, and class expectations. Kierkegaard, who famously broke off his own engagement to Regine Olsen, believed that such ties could compromise one’s inner spiritual journey, particularly if entered for reasons dictated by custom rather than deep personal conviction.
In the modern context, the quote resonates with ongoing tensions between personal freedom and societal norms. While marriage can be a deeply fulfilling union, it can also involve pressures to conform to roles, family expectations, or outdated models of partnership. Kierkegaard invites us to reflect on whether we enter life commitments from authentic choice or social inertia, and reminds us that institutions—however venerable—must be measured against the inner truth of the self.
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