“It is a common example to win over your first love and fail in life, and there is also a theory that it is better for first love to end in failure.”
- January 14, 1925 – November 25, 1970
- Born in Japan
- Novelist, playwright, critic, political activist
Japanese
「初恋に勝って人生に失敗するのはよくある例で、初恋は破れる方がいいという説もある。」
English
“It is a common example to win over your first love and fail in life, and there is also a theory that it is better for first love to end in failure.”
Explanation
In this quote, Mishima reflects on the idealization and transitory nature of first love. He suggests that many people experience the phenomenon of having a great first love, but then fail in life or struggle to achieve lasting happiness or success. The phrase “win over your first love” refers to the initial excitement and romantic triumphs that youth often associates with their first experience of love. However, Mishima posits that this very victory—achieving the idealized love—can lead to disappointment or failure later in life, as it sets unrealistic expectations or creates an emotional imbalance.
Mishima also introduces the idea that it might actually be better for first love to fail. This failure, in his view, could be a necessary experience for personal growth, as it forces individuals to move on and face the realities of life. He implies that first love, when it ends in heartbreak, allows a person to learn how to deal with loss, failure, and the complexities of adult life, which are not as easily learned from idealized romantic victories. The failure of first love, therefore, can serve as a catalyst for maturity and self-discovery, offering valuable lessons that success in love might never provide.
In a modern context, Mishima’s words may still resonate, as many young people today face idealized notions of romance, often shaped by media and societal pressures. The illusion of perfection in first love can lead to disillusionment later on, especially when the realities of adult relationships do not live up to the fantasy. Mishima’s suggestion that it may be better for first love to end in failure offers a pragmatic view, encouraging resilience and personal growth in the face of emotional setbacks. It emphasizes the importance of learning from failures, rather than seeking to avoid or idealize perfect outcomes, in both romantic relationships and life itself.
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