“The paradox of love is that what is waited for never comes, what is desired is never obtained, and the very reason for its absence lies in the act of waiting and desiring itself.”
- January 14, 1925 – November 25, 1970
- Born in Japan
- Novelist, playwright, critic, political activist
- He became a representative figure of postwar Japanese literature, and was highly acclaimed both at home and abroad. He pursued his own unique aesthetic with themes of beauty and death, and ultimately committed seppuku at a Self-Defense Forces garrison. His life, which combined literature with action, continues to have a strong influence today.
Japanese
「愛の背理は、待たれているものは必ず来ず、望んだものは必ず得られず、しかも来ないこと得られぬことの原因が、正に待つこと望むこと自体にあるという構造を持っている」
English
“The paradox of love is that what is waited for never comes, what is desired is never obtained, and the very reason for its absence lies in the act of waiting and desiring itself.”
Explanation
This quote delves into the contradictory nature of love, where the desire for connection often prevents fulfillment. Mishima identifies a paradoxical structure in love: the very act of waiting for something or desiring it can ensure that it is never realized. He suggests that in love, the more one yearns or anticipates, the further away the desired object or connection becomes. This circular structure implies that attachment and expectation create barriers to actually achieving the desired outcome, whether it is emotional closeness, intimacy, or fulfillment.
Mishima’s view reflects his broader themes of longing and frustration within human relationships. Throughout his works, he often examined the tragic tension between the idealized vision of love and the reality of its limitations. In his perspective, love is not something that can be fully controlled or obtained through simple desire or effort; rather, it is something that often slips away precisely because of the intensity of one’s expectations and attachments. This creates a sense of frustration and unresolvable tension in relationships, as the more individuals focus on obtaining love, the more elusive it becomes.
In a contemporary context, this quote can be seen as a reflection on how expectations in relationships—whether romantic, familial, or platonic—can often hinder true connection. In modern life, individuals are often taught to pursue love actively, but Mishima’s insight serves as a reminder that the act of chasing after something can sometimes distort or distract from the natural flow of human connection. The paradoxical nature of love remains relevant in today’s fast-paced, goal-oriented culture, where the pursuit of love can sometimes create more distance than intimacy.
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