“When it comes to loving, women are the experts, while men remain eternal amateurs.”
- January 14, 1925 – November 25, 1970
- Born in Japan
- Novelist, playwright, critic, political activist
- He became a representative figure of postwar Japanese literature, and was highly acclaimed both at home and abroad. He pursued his own unique aesthetic with themes of beauty and death, and ultimately committed seppuku at a Self-Defense Forces garrison. His life, which combined literature with action, continues to have a strong influence today.
Japanese
「愛するということにかけては、女性こそ専門かで、男性は永遠の素人である」
English
“When it comes to loving, women are the experts, while men remain eternal amateurs.”
Explanation
This quote reflects Mishima’s belief that women possess a deeper, more intuitive understanding of love compared to men, who are portrayed as perpetually inexperienced in this domain. Mishima suggests that love, in its truest form, is something that requires emotional depth and sensitivity, qualities he attributes more to women. The phrase “eternal amateurs” underscores the idea that men, despite their actions or intentions, may never truly grasp the complexity of love in the same way that women do, as they are inherently less attuned to its subtleties.
Mishima’s view can be understood in the context of his broader thoughts on gender roles and emotional expression. Throughout his work, he often explored traditional ideas of masculinity and femininity, positioning women as more emotionally expressive and capable of love’s profound intricacies, while men are often stoic, reserved, or trapped in rigid societal expectations. This dichotomy is part of his larger commentary on human nature, where love is seen as something that transcends physicality and reason, but is often difficult for men to fully engage with due to their social conditioning.
In contemporary society, this quote still resonates, particularly when discussing gender expectations and emotional intelligence. Modern discussions often highlight how emotional labor and relationship-building are disproportionately assigned to women, while men are still conditioned to view love through a logical or transactional lens. This imbalance can lead to struggles in communication and emotional connection, illustrating that love, as Mishima suggests, is something that requires constant learning and adaptation—especially for men.
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