“To be a successful father… there’s one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don’t look at it for the first two years.”
- July 21, 1899 – July 2, 1961
- American
- Novelist, poet, journalist
- Wrote masterpieces such as “The Old Man and the Sea,” “A Farewell to Arms,” and “For Whom the Bell Tolls,” and won the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1954
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Quote
“To be a successful father… there’s one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don’t look at it for the first two years.”
Explanation
In this humorous and somewhat unconventional quote, Hemingway offers a tongue-in-cheek piece of advice about fatherhood. He suggests that, in order to be a “successful” father, one should avoid looking at the child for the first two years. The exaggeration here likely serves to underscore the challenges and frustrations that come with the early stages of parenthood, particularly when babies are dependent, demanding, and can feel overwhelming. Hemingway’s statement points to the difficulty of connecting with a newborn, who at that age might not provide much in terms of interactive response or visible affection. His advice could be seen as a way of coping with the demanding and sometimes chaotic nature of having a young child, where one might feel like an observer rather than an active participant in the child’s growth.
At the same time, this quote might also playfully acknowledge the disorientation that new parents often feel, especially in the early years, when the lack of sleep, uncertainty, and adjustment to a new life can make the experience seem distant or unfathomable. Hemingway’s advice, in its absurdity, may also reflect his own feelings about the complexities of parenthood, where the initial disconnect between parent and child is a part of the process but doesn’t define the long-term relationship that will ultimately form.
In the modern context, this quote offers an insightful (albeit humorous) reflection on the pressures of modern parenthood. With the increased expectations on parents, particularly in terms of emotional and developmental involvement from the moment of birth, Hemingway’s words remind us that parenting is not always easy and that the bond between a parent and child can take time to develop. It also suggests that sometimes, space and perspective are needed before a parent can fully engage with the complexities of raising a child.
